Interesting reading my last post about dreams, cuz I’ve been having some CRAZY ones as of late. I think that means I’m not sleeping well, but I feel relatively well-rested…perhaps I should stop watching Harry Potter movies/reading Star Wars novels before bed. Lately I’ve gotten chased around Hogwarts by Snoop Dogg, been forced to become a shape-shifting hobo child (don’t worry, I eventually found a way to return to my original form), and helped the Avengers reclaim their spaceship (disguised as a porter-potty, no less) from a baseball game crowd. And have also had fuzzy dream realities where I can’t get in to my apartment….which is true.
Because I don’t live there anymore.
In some ways I’m totally used to the idea that I’m now a U.Va graduate and that I won’t be returning to Charlottesville in the fall. (Gosh, so much has happened since my last post. Let me catch you up: spring break –> recital –> major senioritis due to no more recital stress –> graduation –> Florida –> home) I’ve enjoyed tossing around words and phrases like “when I was in college”, “majored“, and “alumni”. Don’t get me wrong, there were some heartbreaking moments around graduation, when I really felt the weight of leaving everyone that had become so dear to me over the past four years. Silent packing, emo music (Lifehouse haha) ensued as I embraced my newfound introverted ways. [I’m really beginning to think that I’m quite introverted despite my ENFJ status. Thoughts?]
Now, though, I’m more in LEHGOOOO mode. After leaving C-ville, I had a whirlwind trip to FL to see Annie and then came home and immediately started unpacking, organizing and cleaning my room (normally I have to work my motivation up for this, haha). I’m leaving for Taiwan in less than two months, and I feel that’s one reason I kind of cut myself off from indulging in all the sad nostalgia. I can’t visit C-ville like my other friends can as I’ll be out of the country for a year, and I also have a lot to prepare myself for mentally regarding that time abroad. So right now, Taiwan-excitement/nervousness has taken over.
It’s hard to focus on what’s ahead while also really milking my summer at home. It’s been good to just do nothing with my brothers, and shop and do stuff around the house with my mom. Enjoying the chance to relax while I’ve still got it, and resisting the chance to just rush through the upcoming days because I know I’m going to miss my family like crazy this next year.
I also feel like I should reminisce more about the past four years. I feel like “moving on” too quickly does disservice to the best four years of my life, all those lessons learned, adventures had, friends made. I keep trying to slow down to, oh I don’t know, feel grateful for everything I was given at U.Va. I’m really thankful God led me there, trying as that process was, and for His faithful provision even when I wasn’t looking for it. For giving me encouraging professors, a spiritual community to depend on, the right roommates to challenge and comfort me, and the finances to pay my way through (I graduated debt-free, which I’m reminded is a huge miracle to praise God for!!).
My brother just walked into my room and saw the graduation pictures I’m posting on facebook, only to ask: “Do you feel sad that you’re never going to see these people again?”
Yes. Thanks. -_____- I linger fondly over memories, and try to brace myself for the future. A dear friend reminded me recently though, that just because these years were great doesn’t mean that what’s ahead isn’t just as good. God’s got a lot in store for us. BRING IT :)