gone is all bravado

See that? Lying on the ground? That crumpled, deflated thing? That’s all my confidence and bravado from a few days before.

Heh. I’m rather discouraged because I’ve been listening to recordings of myself for the past hour, and it hasn’t been a pleasant experience. (I feel really sorry for my brothers that have to hear me practice all the time.) BUT. I do have all three pieces I need recorded in some form, and they do bear some redeeming qualities. Anddddd I’m pretty sure I just heard a part marked “piano” being played extremely loudly. Hmm. Dunno if I can use this cut. Anyways, still frustrated. And frustrated with how easily I get frustrated.  But I’m going to go through with this. I am I am I am.

All that stuff Angela tells me, that stuff about breathing too loudly, rushing hard passages, pitchiness – I definitely should have believed her…more.

…My dad just walked in and told me to quit listening to my own recordings.

lol. seriously i have the best parents ever.

I was going to type something profound about working hard and the balance between expecting your best and being a perfectionist, maybe thrown in some spiritual lesson gleaned from all this, then go record until I get callouses on my fingers.  But I think I’m just going to call AJ and ask him how to convert this to a DVD. TAKE THAT, OVERACHIEVER INSIDE ME.


P.S. This post accurately reflects my extremely dramatic thought process over the past ten minutes.

P.S. P.S. I like how last post, I referred to 10-minute pieces as really long since that’s like…average for a full-length solo piece. lol

P.S. P.S.P.S. And how Tenth Avenue North was my  choice of emo music yesterday. It’s very difficult music to have a pity party to though, because it’s all about turning things over to God and getting your mind off yourself. Note to self: for next pity party, pick Josh Groban. He has a lot of dramatic sad ballads.


One thought on “gone is all bravado

  1. Christy says:

    you are my hero. you awesome flute player you!

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