All Alone

I spent a good bit of yesterday and today by myself. And it was amazing. I’m starting to become like Dave, I think, who’s famous for walking past people he knows in the dining hall in search of a little corner table where he can eat by himself. And think. Maybe. I find it really hard to ask for that kind of alone time, and I rarely tell myself I need it, which may be why certain friends have started to worry about me turning emo on them, especially after disappearing after church and not coming back to the apartment until 8. But I just needed time alone to think and not think and pray and read and…take a nap. It was fabulous just having some time to recharge spiritually and emotionally for the week ahead.

I remember saying to Dave once that I didn’t understand why everyone thought I was so happy all the time, and he said it was because I smile too much. “Act like me […or maybe he said “frown like me”. hmm.]” he said, “and no one will expect that anymore.” I made a face at him at the time, but now I think there’s truth to that. I need to lower expectations of my general happiness and then no one will care/freak out if I randomly leave the apartment in search of solitude.

I’m kidding, of course (and maybe Dave was too. Sort of). But everyone needs that time just to get alone with God and just “be still and know that He is God,” to draw on His strength in quietness. 难得的时间. So, thanks, God, for giving me that special time with You today.

Ending with another side note, the best compliment I got this week was from Jules, when she said that my Chinese writing has improved a lot. I was very encouraged. And then she said, “Yeah, at first none of your sentences made any sense. Now you’re coherent.”

Thanks, Jules. -_- But really, thank you for your constant honesty and your support and for covering for me during my random alone time this whole crazy week. loveee


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